Unfortunate Comparison Started Early

As I tossed and turned last night, I started to think about LBF #2 and how he has already been compared to his big brother. The poor child will forever be measured against Miller, not intentionally, but because he's not the first. This really started to bother me and I was trying to make a conscious effort to NOT do this moving forward. My mind was wandering and this is what went through my thoughts last night (at 3 or 4 am after the 3rd trip to the bathroom).

1) Morning sickness-the first time was truly morning sickness where I felt lousy in the morning but could control most of it with traditional tactics like eating crackers, snacking, etc. The second time was afternoon/night time sickness, none of the tradtional tricks worked, and I threw up and felt miserable. I am not saying one was better than the other because they both stunk but there you go, an early comparison.

2) Baby kicking-the first time around it was a joy to feel Miller moving (until it was closer to the end and he would dance on my bladder and kick me in the ribs). This time, I was excited to start to feel LBF #2 but last night at 3am when he was dancing, I really wanted him to settle down. That made me think...did Miller make me feel that way too or was it so new I was more forgiving and happy for those dances?

3) Ultra-sound-Miller was not shy and finding out the sex was a breeze. He laid back, sucked his thumb and gave us a view. LBF #2 made us work for a brief snapshot. Will he be more shy than Miller, more stubborn (is that possible), will he be more active?

4) Me-with Miller, I was super excited and nervous to finaly get pregnant. I didn't know what to expect and followed the doctor's orders pretty closely. I was working too much and happy for the break (maternity leave). This time, I am excited but also know what to expect so it feels like it's more of a chore than the journey. I am following the doctor's orders but a little looser on some of the suggested items. If I really want some caffeine, I have it. I haven't taken my vitamins as religiously but other than that...I think it's been the same. As for work, I am not stressed at all. I am looking forward to my leave but this time it's to be with the baby and not an escape from work.

5) The house-last time we had a list a mile long of things we wanted to finish before Miller arrived. This time, the list is very short. We also have so much stuff it's nice to not have to worry about purchasing all the new things we may or may not need.

I know each kid is different and shouldn't be compared. It's hard not to do it. This is when I start to wonder about whether I would be having these same thoughts if we were having a girl. I am pretty sure I would but then I would chalk it up to a sex thing rather than remember, each of my babies is going to be a unique individual. Overly spoiled and loved. I know one thing is the same, I am definitely hormonal. A mother's instinct doesn't change.